[H]urt [M]yself [B]y [H]urting [Y]ou

I Just Dont Understand Myself

2006-11-28T04:39:00.000-08:00

One month has past for me and him

Have gone through so much things together

We laughed and cried together

For me it is normal to have ups and downs

In relationships, that makes us closer

Please forgive me when i am still

Not up to your expectations

I know i am the worst one of all
I was quite shocked and disappointed
To hear that

However i will not let this goes on just like that

I will make changes
I will promise to try and give the best
I will take that phrase as a challenge for me

To change and correct myself

To be the better one

Just for you

Its hard for me to show love to someone

Though i really love that special one

I just cant.

I hope our relationship really last

Love u lots! MuAcKiEsZ

~*RuThFyNbE3*~

To you,,

Though i am with someone else

Whom i also love

You are still in my heart

I cant understand why

It like so hard for me to move on from you

In front of the others, i told them that i hate you

Many bad things i have said about you
Seeking attention from you thats why i did that

At the chalet, i heard n saw with my eyes
You and him *sigh*

I cried alone

Cant control my ownself

What i hope now is to just move on

From the one who never love me
and that is you.

The chalet was fun

Though it was kinda overcrowded

I enjoyed myself with my friends

Especially my hubby

*kiss*

I just hate at the escape theme park

Bloody hell

When in for 6 bucks for only 2 rounds of haunted house

It was raining!!

Then, the second night, received a call from my grandma

I was shocked that she could ask that question

To cut short,

My family knows that i am a gay

Now i am like having an oral examinations

The examiners are my parents

One by one

*sigh*

Now i got so many to think

About myself

My love

About you

My parents

About them knowing my real self
*scream*

I think thats all for now.

Wish me luck!!

Love you lotz

MuAcKiEsZ

shahrul likely ruth

Hurt

2006-11-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

Went to work in the morning. was very tired lar since yesterday. insufficient of rest. perhaps. hehekz.. didnt hav the chance to meet my *F* today. i'm missing him now! then tmr might not meet him also.. haish..

Hurt, by Christina A., was listening to that song every night wothout fail. Each and everytime i listen, tears will drop with different reasons each time. the lyrics are very meaningful n touched..

Though i'm attached to *F*, frankly i still have the feelings towards SHAHRUL, but not to that extant like used to be. i shud be thnakful that he is stilll my friend.

To you, thanx for appearing in my life. Without you, i will never know abt patience, i will never understand abt love. Thanx to you. i love you so much that i am thinking of u every moment.

now, i am gng to sleep i guess.. its almost 1am..

nite nite.. muackiesz!!

shahrul likely ruth

Recently About Ruth

2006-11-08T08:54:00.000-08:00

So this will be the very first post ever using this account. Thanx to furbee for helping me creating this blog.

Laugh, cry, smile and depression i've gone through for this few weeks..

Now i've gotten a new person in my life. At last my wishes are granted. But still i cant forget my past love for him. I dont know why.

Theres something special in him which i will never found out.

What i should do now is to juz love my only one, *F*. Thanx for keeping your promise. Hehekz..Hope to be with you as long as possible.

To you, i am sorry for what i have done. Hurting your feelings that very night. Forgive me!

This will be the beginning of my ending

shahrul likely ruth*